James Kincaid, beloved resident of Tampa, Florida, passed away on March 14, 2025, at the tender age of 27. Born on March 19, 1997, James lived a life that can only be described as tragically short.

Known for his love of video games and dedication to staying indoors, James was a true champion of the couch potato lifestyle. His refusal to step foot outside unless absolutely necessary ultimately led to his demise, as he succumbed to a severe case of Vitamin D deficiency.

Despite numerous warnings from concerned friends and family members, James remained steadfast in his commitment to avoiding the sun at all costs. His pale complexion and aversion to sunlight were the stuff of legend in his social circle.

In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to your local sunblock fund in James' memory. Let us remember him not for his lack of Vitamin D, but for his unwavering dedication to indoor activities and his impressive high score on every video game he ever played.

Rest in peace, James Kincaid. May you finally find the warmth of the sun in the afterlife.