Leaving nothing but a heavy heart and unheard
cries, on this day, you all will not only remember BUT, finally notice all the
synthetic smiles and laughs from memories we may share together. Many may swear
you knew me because you know my name, Jada Shanice Hubbard, went to school with
me, or because you know the fluffy stuff like that I was born on June 14,2004
or that I leave behind 5 loving siblings (Jayven Hubbard, Jameer Dockery, Jarese
Singleton, Tamira Williams, Steven Hubbard jr.) and one preceded in death
(Jarvis Dockery) who I long so badly to meet again with, or you may even know
that my favorite color is blue, however if you really knew me you would know
how many lives I saved by just loving and I don’t say that to be proud or brag,
but humbled, you would know that my greatest wish is for everyone to be loved
as I always wanted to be or at least feel. Since birth, I’ve always grown to
love my mom tremendously (Nicole Dockery) and dad (Steven Hubbard) equally who
both are present in living. Growing up, I was raised by my grandmother (Sharon
Dockery) who is now deceased, she took care of 3 sets of cousins totaling out
to 15 in one household. Although my childhood wasn’t terribly traumatic,
childhood trauma makes me want to sleep forever. Childhood should be carefree
and magical, not living in fear of telling sexual assault stories. Who knew
violation gives out piercings to the heart? Childhood shouldn’t be stressful
but happy, no child should worry of being constantly neglected. Childhood
should be fun, not funny. Everyone here is guilty of weight shaming my baby fat.
As I grew older, these memories grew with me and when I lost my grandmother my
battle between light and dark began. By the age of 15, contemplation had found
me somewhere in the middle which led me to my misadventure. At the age of 16, I
had gained enough strength for my second attempt. And truly, after the second attempt
it brought me to a new outlook on life. I strived to make A’s with the
exception of 2 B’s, I dedicated myself to working two jobs, I even planned to
attend Lamar University for my degree in psychology for fall 2022. I pictured a
prosperous future for Kaleb and myself. I made my mind up to succeed in life.
Later down the line, things started back falling apart. I’ll refuse to argue with the devil from
previous experience because the devil always wins, somehow my path just became suddenly
blocked by negativity and on March 5^th, 2022, at the age of 18 I
lost my battle to the darkness of my path. Now, as we’re here in my honor, I
would like to say from all of the fake smiles I’ve put on, from all the falling
tears I’ve hid, you never know when someone is faking a smile just to make you
feel good. Continue to cherish our good moments as I could never hold a grudge
for you not noticing my suffering, as I will continue to live through you all. You
should always carry our memories in your heart. I am survived by my parents, siblings,
a host of uncles, aunts, cousins, and great cousins. Special thanks to my childhood
molester (Varise Sayrie) for one of the many things you taught me, not to trust.
I should be missed but not forgotten as I rejoin my loved ones. Miss me but let
me go.