It is with great sadness and a touch of confusion that we announce the passing of Ethan Hajdasz, who departed from this world on July 22, 2025 - National Ethan Hate Day - at the tender age of 19. Born on September 28, 2005, in Franklin, Wisconsin, Ethan left behind a legacy of questionable decisions and unforgettable antics.

Throughout his life, Ethan was known for his unique hobbies, such as sniffing around dumb blondes and cooking chicken breast. Despite his mischievous ways, he was loved by many, including his loving spouse, Gabe Gutierrez, whom he married in year 1.

Working as a Dockhand, Ethan sucked but he tried. He sucked so bad that he once called 911 randomly. He had a way of seducing customers to get good tips, and his coworkers will miss him dearly for that.

Ethan's cause of death remains a mystery, much like many aspects of his life. He was last seen with his father, Austin Stormeon, at 12:55 am on a Tuesday morning, leaving behind a trail of laughter and confusion in his wake.

While Ethan may not have left behind any children, his memory will live on in the hearts of all who knew and loved him. Rest in peace, Ethan. May you sniff around dumb blondes eternally in heaven...