Anthony Hughes, beloved husband, father, and reluctant handyman, bid farewell to this mortal coil on September 1, 2023, leaving behind a trail of questionable DIY projects and an impressive collection of mismatched socks. Born on January 1, 1950, in the Windy City itself, Chicago, Illinois, he was a true-blue Midwesterner through and through.

Those who knew Anthony can attest to his unwavering commitment to avoiding any form of physical labor. The term "handyman" was as foreign to him as eating deep-dish pizza with a knife and fork (blasphemy, we say!). From fixing leaky faucets to hanging pictures, he had a remarkable talent for making an easy task turn into an Olympic-level struggle—an accomplishment that inspired both awe and mild frustration in all who witnessed it.

Anthony had a way with words that was uniquely his own. He had a knack for making every conversation last just one minute longer than absolutely necessary, regaling friends and family with tales of childhood mishaps, urban legends, and what he had for lunch (peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, in case you were wondering). His storytelling skills will be remembered fondly, especially by those who perfected the art of pretending to listen attentively while secretly wondering how to sneak away unnoticed.

No eulogy for Anthony would be complete without mentioning his unparalleled talent for fashion faux pas. He single-handedly elevated the concept of "dad jeans" to an art form, rocking socks-and-sandals combos that defied logic and good taste. He took pride in his ability to repel any fashion police within a five-mile radius and became a shining beacon of sartorial rebellion for everyone who believes that style is overrated.

While we may have plenty of amusing anecdotes about Anthony's quirks and idiosyncrasies, let's not forget the qualities that endeared him to those who loved him. He was fiercely loyal and had an unwavering sense of humor that could lighten even the heaviest of hearts. Anthony's warm smile and quick wit will forever be etched in our memories, reminding us to find joy in life's simplest pleasures, like a perfectly timed punchline or a perfectly melted cheese on a grilled cheese sandwich.

Anthony is survived by his loving wife, Betty; their three children, Luke, Emma, and Sophie; and their dog, Mr. Whiskers, who never quite understood Anthony's aversion to petting it. He will be greatly missed but never forgotten. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the "Socks Anonymous" foundation, a charitable organization dedicated to helping others overcome their sock-related challenges.

In honor of Anthony's life, let's raise our glasses (preferably filled with a beverage of your choice, but in Anthony's case, it would be an overly complicated mix of orange juice, seltzer water, and just a splash of mustard) and toast to a man whose legacy will always live on in our hearts, minds, and the countless half-finished projects he left behind.